Hridya’s POV
I was writing down my roll number on the answer sheet and trying my best not to look up at certain someone sitting before me who makes my heart race. But then I hear his voice as he turns back and asks in that sweet and friendly tone of his about the facts of a certain case.
For a moment I was at loss for words. That’s what happens every time he asks me something: I get tongue tied for a while and then I have to calm myself to respond to him. I look at him who was waiting for my answer. Shit! why do I have to make it awkward every time I am around him?
I calm my idiotic heart and respond to him.
“Iss case mein they said ki bail application and chargesheet if filed on the same day then which one is filed first will be considered to determine if regular bail is to be granted or not.” I answer him feeling proud of myself for my retention skills that saved my face in front of my crush many a times in exams.
[In this case….]
“Thank you.” He says with the small smile that is enough to make my day.
I just nod with a small smile of mine saying “no issues” mostly to myself than him. I know I am weird.
He turns his back and looks at the wall clock while I turn my focus back on the answer sheet writing down the other credentials.
Even after three years of being in the same class, having my roll number next to him, I still can’t speak properly in front of him. Reason? I still don’t know. Every time I am around him all my rationality leaves behind and I am left with the awkward smile and lost look on my face. Then I have to remind myself don’t embarrass yourself in front of him Hridya. I really don’t want him to judge me on the basis of my awkward responses though he doesn’t seem like the one to do so but in case please Avyukt don’t.
I still remember that day, three years back, when I saw him for the first time and my heart went wild as if it’s going to come out.
Flashback: 3 years ago, September, 2021
I was attending my online classes and it was the last class going on. My college classes have started in August and as a fresher I was very excited for the college life but seems like the COVID 19 has other plans. So here I am attending my first semester classes: online.
The classes run from morning to afternoon and by the time of last class my brain is unable to concentrate on things. The English teacher was teaching something related to Discourse Analysis and I was sitting with my headphones on trying to make sense of the lecture with my worn-out brain.
My mother was calling me in the background asking me to join for the lunch and I told her that I would come after 20 minutes. I was barely paying attention to the class now when the teacher asked something and I looked up at the screen. No one was responding as everyone had their videos off including mine. The teacher insisted on some response and then there was a voice which caught my attention. I looked up at the screen and the world around me stopped for real. There was this guy Avyukt Singh answering the question but I was barely paying attention to his words. My eyes were locked on him through the screen and my heart was thumping fast. I could hear the faint noise of my mother calling me for lunch again but I couldn’t make it properly. At that time, what mattered was him only. For those 3 minutes I was unable to take away my gaze from the screen and my heart didn’t stop beating fast for once. Throughout those 3 minutes it was racing like a bullet train and for a moment I thought it will come out and in that moment I knew I was gone.
Finally, when he turned off his video, that my trance was broken and I realised my mother was standing with the plate of food in her hand. “kahan dhyaan tha tera Hridya? Kabse aawaz lga rhi hoon, sun hi nhi rhi hai.”
[Where were you lost Hridya? I was calling your name and you weren’t even responding.]
“Wo mummy, teacher kuch important discuss kar rhi thi bas isliye sunayi nahi diya.”
[Mom actually, the teacher was discussing something important so I didn’t hear you.]
My mother bought my excuse but I was still reeling from what I felt. But whatever it was, I had this feeling that it’s not going to end anytime soon now.
Flashback ends.
And here I am after three years, deep in love with this guy who has no idea that someone gets butterflies just by mere sight of him.
I snap out of my thoughts as he passes me the question paper and I keep mine and pass the rest to the next student.
The bell rings signalling the starting of the exam time. I divert my gaze from the guy sitting in front of me to the question paper and start writing down the exam. The torturous 1.5 hours have started: not due to the exam but because of how I am going to manage stealing glances at him while also completing my paper on time.
For any normal person I might be an idiot for being in hopelessly in love with him but I can’t help it. I have tried many a time to get over him in the last three years. Initially, I tried to shrug it off by calling it “just a momentary crush” despite the intense emotions my heart evoked. But then, we came in the campus and I met him for the first time in person and I realised: no, it’s not just a momentary crush.
Over the time, I tried to divert myself from him. My friends even show me some good-looking seniors telling me I should change my crush now but my heart never raced like the way it did when I saw Avyukt for the first time. I am not lying when I say that I even tried not looking at him and giving him cold shoulder, as if he cares though, but it never worked.
One look at his smiling face and I was melting like ice under the sun. He looks so cute when he smiles. I mean I just don’t understand how can someone be so cute, gentleman, polite, humble, intelligent and funny at the same time? Well, he is.
And now I have just stopped all those immature things and let my heart guide me. I know for sure that we aren’t meant to be together. There is no way we can be together but because of this I don’t want to deprive myself from the beautiful feeling that he has invoked in me: Love. I am in love with Avyukt Singh and it doesn’t matter if he ever reciprocates my feelings or not. I will enjoy it to the fullest as long as it lasts. Maybe some stories are only meant to be left incomplete and ours is the one but I am going to read each and every chapter with my heart and hold it as a good part of my memory till the inevitable incomplete end comes.
Hi Pyare logon!
Kaise ho sab? Kaisa laga Chapter?
Jaldi se batao agar acha laga ho toh.
Chalo thodi si backstory share karte hain: toh ye story likhne ka idea mujhe last year aaya tha jab main apne hostel room mein akeli thi. uss waqt toh aise hi ek plot dimaag mein aaya or revenge love wali story bna di but phir wo drop kardi kyunki vibe hi nahi aayi or usi duaran mujhe ye story likhne ka idea aaya. This story is very close to my heart. Consider it as an attempt of the author to romanticise her own dry college life. Hehe.
So stay tuned to know more. 😘
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